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Sanctifier
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 Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Albert Einstein wrote: | If I knew what I was doing I wouldn't call it research.  |
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Sanctifier
Zorce Moderator
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
Posts: 1794
Location: Good question!
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| Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 4:53 am Post subject: |
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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started..... 
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Sanctifier
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Posts: 1794
Location: Good question!
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| Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2016 6:27 am Post subject: |
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A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her-knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note with the bottle back over to the man.The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $1M in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
WELL, the man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know -- I happen to have TWO Mercedes in my garage, I have over $2M in the bank, but not even for YOU, would I cut off 2 inches! Send the bottle back."
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Sanctifier
Zorce Moderator
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
Posts: 1794
Location: Good question!
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| Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 3:52 am Post subject: |
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| Oh Oh! wrote: | A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you." Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheel.
She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.
She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here."
She asks, "What's that?"
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the only airbag... and you're not wearing your seatbelt, bitch!"  |
......  ... 
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