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Sanctifier
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 Posted: Thu May 23, 2013 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Benjamin Franklin wrote: | Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote! |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| Helen Keller wrote: | | “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 2:15 am Post subject: |
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| John Ruskin wrote: | “When we build, let us think that we build forever.
Let it not be for present delight nor for present use alone.
Let it be such work as our descendants will thank us for; and let us think...
that a time is to come when those (heirlooms) will be held sacred because
our hands have touched them, and that men will say, as they look upon the labor
and wrought substance of them, ‘See! This our father did for us.’ “ |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Bertrand Russell wrote: | | The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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A few more for today...
| Bernard M. Baruch wrote: | “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter
... and those who matter don't mind.” |
| Oscar Wilde wrote: | “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”  |
| Mahatma Gandhi wrote: | | “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” |
| Mark Twain wrote: | | “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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Before you get your knickers in a knot...
just remember that this was 'aired' as a family show.
... and just say thank God that she didn't get her KNICKERS in a knot too!  
.........
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Last edited by Sanctifier on Sun Apr 06, 2014 5:16 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 9:50 am Post subject: |
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Here!... Hol dis!
.........
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 10:15 am Post subject: |
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... and here's one all red blooded, bilingual 2nrs will enjoy!...
.........
... Okay, forget the "bilingual" part!...
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VK-Sportsman
Zorce Jedi Apprentice
Joined: 05 Nov 2005
Posts: 933
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| Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:45 am Post subject: |
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Didn't hear what she was saying
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Ent?
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:18 am Post subject: |
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Boyfriend to Husband upgrade
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Hockey, Football, Golfing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
............................................................................
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me html' and try to download Tears. Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer... Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot download new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck,
Technical Support
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:29 am Post subject: |
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| Albert Einstein wrote: | Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
then it will live its whole life believing that its stupid. |
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 11:26 am Post subject: |
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A Mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how they were coping with marital sex.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter. 
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges." Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size."
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter. 
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Airways." Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA.
The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways." 
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VK-Sportsman
Zorce Jedi Apprentice
Joined: 05 Nov 2005
Posts: 933
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| Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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Lol @Tech Support, some young folks might not get that last one
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Sanctifier
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| Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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Now here's something that's a little different...
......
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